I wear many hats as a financial counselor.  Advisor.  Teacher.  Marriage counselor.  Negotiator.

Usually, however, a negotiation is made for someone else.  So I reveled in the chance to do a little negotiating for myself.

As I joined the ranks of HD TV owners (I never noticed how much make-up Paula Abdul wears), a decision had to be made: upgrade my DIRECTV service or switch to Cablevision or Verizon FiOS. 

Now FiOS clearly wanted my business.  Every week, I receive at least 3 letters from them which basically promise to finance my retirement if I will only sign up for their package.  But FiOS also happens to be the brainchild of Verizon, whom I despise for their hidden fees and subpar customer service.  And don't even get me started on Cablevision.

Well, a short time ago, I decided that it was time to call DIRECTV to see just how badly they wanted my business.  I first spoke with the customer service department and discovered that my monthly payments would increase by sixteen dollars.  And all things considered, the charge seemed very fair.  In addition, free installation and a free upgraded dish were nice.  

However, the kicker was a one-time charge of $232 to cover the cost of HD DVR, a fee which hardly seemed fair since Fios was willing to GIVE me a $150 gift card for the honor of becoming their customer.  So I proceeded to inquire about promotions, and the customer service rep politely put me in touch with the sales department... where I was told that there were no promotions.  That being the case, I calmly explained in clear terms that they were leaving me no choice but to cancel my service and switch to FiOS.

I was promptly transferred to the Customer Retention Group.  The fact that DirectTV even HAS a Customer Retention Group was a good sign.  And Verizon probably did not have the money for one after all the money they've spent mailing offers to me.

And so the real negotiation began.

Phase one: Break my spirit while explaining that Verizon's Fiberoptic "glass" cables are prone to break.  If this happens, I could be out of luck for 3-4 weeks until all is fixed.

No dice: DirectTV goes out whenever a bad storm rolls around, so he was not going to win with that angle.

Phase two: Offer a $10 credit for six months.

No dice: I did the math and thanked them for (in effect) lowering my price from $232 to $172.  But, still, the $172 charge failed to trump Verizon's gift of $150.

The rep asked if it would be alright to put me on hold.

"Absolutely!" I replied.  "Take all the time you need."

My account was being methodically reviewed. 

Well, not exactly. 

In reality, the rep was either getting approval from his manager or simply stalling to make it seem as though he was reviewing my account.  Because, back on the line 3 minutes later, Barrington had some good news!  It turned out that my account hadn't been flagged for a customer-loyalty program.  But since he confirmed that I'd been a loyal customer for three years, I was eligible for a promotion that would transform the $232 one-time charge into a big fat zero.

I felt so blessed... and lucky.  I was so glad that Barrington's expertise enabled him to crack the mystery behind my account's exclusion from a proper, free-upgrade flagging.  Good thing I wasn't a customer for a mere 2.5 years!

A few weeks later, my first bill arrived in the mail.  An extra charge of $5/month appeared on my statement, so I called to get it reversed.  And even though it took the rep a very long time to adjust the account, he not only reversed the charge but gave me an additional $5 credit for the next six months-- all really nice of him, but unnecessary. 

Perhaps I was flagged as a disgruntled customer, ready to walk away if DIRECTV didn't feed me grapes while I sat on my throne.

Another win for the negotiator.

--Chris Dlugozima
financialloft@deborahsteinberg.com