Just who is the Guru? 

(And Who is the Coon?)

Surely, the Guru is some sort of super hero that walks among mortals.  But where and why did he/she disappear soon after gracing us with his or her presence?

To those who have not slept for months, unable to solve this mystery: wonder no more!  For it was I; mild-mannered credit counselor by day, slightly... less.... mild-mannered, anonymous credit counselor by night.  I didn't even need a phone booth!

OK.  So the column wasn't a success.  Shortly after it was announced, I received 2 emails. They were the only 2 emails I ended up receiving.  And it was kind of hard to write a Q & A column without a Q. 

The funny thing, though, is that there's a lot of bad advice out there.  And a lot of broke people!  Actually, there were plenty of broke people before the economy went to hell. It just wasn't as socially acceptable to talk about it.  Not to mention that most people who were broke just didn't know it yet. 

Hoboken 411 wasn't to blame for an unsuccessful Financial Guru section-- the site is quite popular.  As such, I couldn't take any of it personally, although I was left in a state of wonder.  The person who writes the articles for Hoboken411 has his own local political views, but I find the website itself to be neutral in that it raises questions and gets opinions from all sides.  People flood the site with comments when it's time to complain.  Whether about Hoboken's property tax hike or the drunken orgy that was our St Patricks Day parade, the theme seems to include complaints about large issues that are very difficult to control.

Yet, one's finances CAN be controlled!  Don't get me wrong-- there are many factors OUT of our control, such as being laid-off.  But why don't people focus their energy on asking questions about the types of things they have more control over? Especially on a website that allows anonymity? 

I guess I can only assume the the average reader on the site either has no financial problems or is already getting sound financial advice and, therefore, has no need for an anonymous guru.  But at least Hoboken 411's creator gave a good idea a shot.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about Hoboken's largest weekly newspaper, the Hoboken Reporter.

Last year, I pitched my idea of a weekly or monthly column in their Personal Finance section, along with 2 samples of my writing (the part about Scott Baio's reality show is outdated, but I'll probably post it on this blog shortly.)  The editor wrote back, immediately.  I could tell she liked the articles... which I kind of expected because, as an accomplished writer herself, her sense of humor shines through her own fictional works.

(Quick side note: The editor once threw a SuperBowl party that was unique in that she had a bunch of small televisions with bad reception. This was the year that Janet Jackson showed the world her nipple and no one at the party even realized it! Great party though!  It marked the beginning of my courtship with my eventual wife-- and the wonderful creator of this blog.)

However, in the end (and although it was not stated explicitly), I could tell that the reason my proposed column would never see the light of day had nothing to do with my writing or qualifications as a dispenser of financial advice.  Her superiors were more concerned with granting columns to local realtors, banks, etc.  Columns with either limited or no advice.  Often, in fact, a column screams something to the effect of "Sally Simons Named Employee of the Month at Subprime Realty."

The entire situation was curious.  The Hoboken Reporter contains a very successful mental well-being column, complete with questions/answers (and, yes, a plug for a local practioner).  In talks with friends, I realized that many people pick up the paper just to read that column.  That good advice is offered.  But no one picks up the Reporter to read the Personal Finance section... unless they're the aforementioned employee of the month.  And this leads me to one conclusion:

Ultimately, the local paper wants readership to drive ad sales. 

Well, it's clear that I'd attract more readers since the Personal Finance column is merely a free advertising section.  So I am calling out the Hoboken Reporter!   Either they should add a disclosure (like newspapers and magazines often do) to their Personal Finance column, indicating that it is, indeed, a paid advertising section... or generate a column that's actually helping our community-- and I don't even care if it's me!

After this rant, I'm sure I've burned that bridge, anyway. 

Then again, I have no idea if anyone reads this column, so maybe I'll be alright.

Oh, well.  I'm certain there's a cat stuck in a tree somewhere that the guru can help.

-- Chris Dlugozima